


Unforgetable, like the Sky

by Larkawolfgirl



Series: 100 Ways to Say I Love You [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bittersweet, Grief/Mourning, Letters, M/M, Monologue, POV First Person, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: I see your hair in the darkness, your eyes in the stars, and your smile in the constellations, and miss you.





	Unforgetable, like the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Way 2, "it reminded me of you"

Dear Noct,

The night sky always reminds me of you. How could it not? It is basically your namesake. I'm pretty sure everyone in Lucis thinks of you just at the mention of nighttime. But I see your hair in the darkness, your eyes in the stars, and your smile in the constellations. Perhaps it is because I miss you so damn much, but I can’t deny that you were my driving force for so long, as if you were some freaking beacon in the sky guiding me along my chosen path, so it isn’t that weird I would see you in the sky, is it? As if you are still there to guide me? 

But so many things remind me you…

Every time I look through my viewfinder, I imagine turning around to snap a shot of that goofy grin that so few had the chance to see but that I was lucky enough to freeze in time. As you know, I rarely print my photographs, but I clutch these in my shaking hands in the late hours of the night. 

It sucks. Looking at your face again is the only thing that really makes me feel better (reminding me that you would want me to continue on and keep smiling), but it also makes me feel so much worse. It’s the worst reminder; the reminder of what we had. The happiness. 

What would I give to have those days again? You better believe I’d die, just as you did, in a second (and yeah, I know that defeats the goal, but you know what I mean). But there is no loophole with this. I’ve read enough and heard all of Iggy’s lectures to know that I should stay out of their matters. He somehow always manages to glower at me, as if saying “you want to be blind like me?”, and I have no choice but to shut up. 

He and Gladio try to be here, ya know? They get that though they knew you longer, this is  _ harder  _ for me. They’ve moved on. Together actually. That doesn’t help, to be honest. I get to see them happy while I’m still just this numb shell of a person. I live, and I even smile, but I don’t have any direction without you here to guide me. When we first met, I wanted to better myself for you. I wanted to become your friend. I wanted to train to get in the crownsguard so that I could stay with you. I wanted to give you my body and heart. I wanted to go on your wedding trip, and help you when it became more than that. Then you disappeared, and for the first time in my life since meeting you, I had to figure out what to do without you in it. 

Those were the longest ten years of my life, battling between hope and doubt, wanting to keep my life on hold but knowing I couldn’t just sit around. Did I tell you how reckless I got? Gladio beat me black and blue until I straightened up. Heh. I was pretty stupid. After that, he wouldn’t let me go on any hunts alone anymore. I stayed in Hammerhead, only going out when Gladio bothered to show his face. Left me a lot of time to think, and gods did I think about you. More than I do now, if you can believe it. There was so much talk of how you would be returning to end the eternal night and rid us of the daemons. It was as if everyone and everything was there to remind me. So, I bit my lip and focused on my work. By the time you showed back up, I could have probably given Cindy a run for her money.

You know, when you came back, I barely believed it was really you. It wasn’t the first time. You had come back to me before, usually in dreams, but sometimes when I was awake. Gods, you should have seen Cindy’s face that time I bolted across her living room shouting your name. She thought I was suffering from dehydration-induced hallucinations. Probably would have thought I was crazy myself if Iggy hadn’t admitted hearing your voice from time to time as well. Guess we were just so anxious for you to return. Or maybe we did go a bit insane. Doesn’t matter now, because you did come back.

Do you have any idea what that felt like? I know you missed us, but it’s not the same. It was  _ ten fucking years _ . I wanted to kiss you so badly, it was like I couldn’t breathe until my lips were on yours, and when they were and I felt your hands on my shoulders, it was like a part of me that had been dead came back to life. Those were the gods’ honest truth happiest few hours of my life. And then it was all burned to ash. 

I can still feel that stab of pain when you said that you had to go die  _ the very next day _ . I wanted to shout and cry, but Gladio and Iggy beat me to each, so all I could do was stare at you in shocked silence. You calmed each of them down and ushered them into the tent. Only then did you turn to me and take my hands in yours. They were cold, as if you were already dead. The tears did come. You wiped at them and told me that I had to be brave, like you knew I was. Hah. Brave, is that what you call what I’m doing? Watching you die and then continuing on with my life is brave, huh? I call you brave. Giving up everything after having so little. I’ve had just as little and I still have the chance to take what the world has to offer, and yet I hold back. I hold back and stare at your goofy grin instead. Because out of everything out there, what’s frozen in the picture frame is the only thing that really matters to me anymore. 

I know I have issues. I know I need to talk to someone about it. Iggy keeps giving me the number of this guy he knows, but I never call. I guess I’m just not ready yet. Not ready to share these thoughts with anyone else yet. I guess that’s why I’m writing this all to you. If anyone should know all this, it’s you. 

And if I’m going to tell you anything, it should be that I still love you. I want you to know how loved you are. By me and Iggy and Gladio. By Cindy and Talcot and Iris and everyone else, too. You are a damn hero, Noct, and we’ll never forget that. Your name will go down in history and live on in our hearts. 

I don’t know if I will move on one of these days. Maybe I will start a chocobo farm, or maybe I will ride cross-Eos in a motorcycle gang. Maybe I won’t. But if I do find some new path that somehow does not relate to you, I want you to know that I will always remember you. I don’t need reminders to remember you, because you are unforgettable. 

 

Love,

 

Forever Yours, Prompto


End file.
